barin who breaks my heart

He said, "come...take my hand." I refused to listen, my hands were still. "Come...I'll be gentle. You will be fine with me" he offered his hands. I looked at his eyes... Those grey eyes somehow were telling me that everything's going to be fine.

I could feel his fingers through mine and from that moment on, I knew that he would be my prince.

He saved me from the darkness that I had become. He had made me believe that a happy ending tale might exist. He had me smile everytime I was down. He gave me breeze everytime I lost hope. He had me thinking that he was everything that I had ever seeked for. He made me believe that him and I wasn't just a dream. It was almost real.

Almost.

My Barin breaks my heart. He makes me shade tears over all those pieces that once were sown by him,...

My Prince, my gentleman who once saved me, sucks the last air from me...

He took my ability to believe.

He took my dream away.

He took away my armor for I can no longer defend myself from amorphous and hatred.

The dream fairy had reminded me... "Somehow, someday... it will happen. The darkness is inevitable and Barin is no longer a gentleman."

For once, I refuted her... "No. You missunderstood him. He never promises me anything. But he's a barin...he's a gentleman for he will never break this heart..and look at his eyes, he doesn't fool me. He's the truth. He saved me and will always be my saviour."

But as we're welcoming another winter... One could only realize that it is coming...the familiar coldness and darkness.

Oh, it aches.

The pain just makes you hope that you could just skip every seasons by closing your eyes.

You just pray that this will be the last time you're sitting here and crying...

And there's just sometimes...when,you just wish that he was never there, picking you up and offering you his hands.