In the edge of year 2010

Two days before new year's eve, two men with whom I had romance with re-emerged, as if welcoming the new year isn't challenging enough.

But that's really what happens with life. It could give you the best and worst memories of all time.

The year 2010, to me was a mediocre year... It wasn't as mental as 2007, serious as 2008 or even free as 2009.

Flashback to the last new year's eve...

I was preoccupied with what dress I was going to wear for the new years party, how many suitcases I could fit my six years life in, last travels that I should make, future career and the romance that I was involved in.

Lots of things I needed to sort out. They were just so many that I could barely sense the emotion that ran through.

It would have been upsetting since I would leave the country where I had spent my last six years. It would have been saddening since I would leave the very friends that had become part of my life.

It would have been everything else but being thrilled for the plans that him and I made.

"You'll meet my brother and we'll go to the sushi place in Brooklyn. The one that I really like."

Those plans didn't occur. Instead, I was strolling New York City with my very very bestfriend and listening to 'Speechless' by Lady Gaga.

"I can't believe what you said to me last night when were alone, You threw your arms up and baby you gave up..."

My heart was broken.

"I can't believe you let him ruined our plans. It should've been about us."

I looked into my bestfriend's eyes and listened to his words. He made his dissapointment obvious to me. Those last days were supposed to be between him and I cherishing our friendship.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Attempted to smile but I knew that he was aware that my mind was somewhere else.

Somewhere... hoping that my romance would soon realize that he broke his promise and that I waited to meet his little brother.

"Let's go to Little Italy and have your favorite, Fettucini"

My bestfriend took my hand and I knew that I was foolish for trading our six years friendship for some romance that started only a month ago.

But hey, being a fool whose heart been broken hadn't hindered me from continuing whatever I had with the very man who broke my heart that new year's eve. Amazingly enough, we had our affair continued for 11 months after I left the country.

Romance could end. Men could leave. But your bestfriends... they're here to stay.

And that's my bestfriend, Aure, who is still my very bestfriend even after I dissapointed him so many times.

Him and my other bestfriends spread around the world had colored my colorless year.

Now...hours before the new year, 2011, comes...

Here I am sitting at some hairdresser's salon, thinking back of how my life is this year.

"Plenty of challenges but I'm blessed"

That'd be this year's description.

So with less worries in mind, well aside from i-hope-this-hairdresser-wont-screw-up-his-cut, I could only pray and hope that in new year's eve next year... I could say:

"God, You're Grand and this is the best year I've ever had so far and looking forward for more blesses from You, My Almighty."



Yours truly.

Dear you, the unknown number

"Unknown number" I read. As if every unknown matters in my life doesn't suffice. But hey, that's life where predictable isn't quite the description.

I wouldn't mind, really. I like when people paying attention and decide to phone me. It's always a thrill when your phone rings, you see on your phone screen who's calling and you get to decide if you're going to pick it up or not.

And for most of the time, unless you're some kind of people I blacklist due to misdemeanor or trying to sell me stuffs, I would usually pick up your call.

Hey, I even picked up a phone call from my very own version of Mr. Big, whom I blacklisted. Yes, I'm a huge fan of Sex and The City... Thus, I code a former love who had strung me for years...a 'special' name like that John guy who has strung Carrie for 6 years in Sex and The City.

As I mentioned, he's actually in my blacklist... So picking up his call wasn't intentionally. I deleted his number... But of course, when the phone rang.. my curiosity to pick up a call from an unfamiliar number defeated my memory...

But then again, you can only enlist so many phone numbers in your brain.


Anyway, yes... I usually pick up calls. And certainly calls from 'unknown number' become my favorite ones since it bring such vast chances of guessing who, among my dearest mates residing abroad, would phone me.

Alright... dearest mates might be understated... I should also say romance interest... A romance interest who might care enough to phone me all the way here...

If this occured two months ago... I would have identified the caller easily as I was involved in a long distance affair... However with this cold winter and cold heart... I would have to guess who the unknown number is.

This could be a fun game and we could name it, "Guessing the unknown"

But seriously at this very moment with no one crosses my mind... I could only hope that the unknown number would call me again.

So to you, the unknown number, please do call again. I promise I won't be throwing out garbage when you call so I can actually hear my phone rings and pick up your call.


Yours truly.