Wedding, marriage, engagement and even children suddenly sound more familiar than ever...
It's like everyone's doing it.. Starting from my very bestfriend who decided to marry her 4 years-boyfriend, friends from high school who suddenly race to marry each other, mates from the university to even a colleague of mine at the office...as if wedding is the new facebook...everyone, anyone is gotta sign up.
It still surprises me everytime I find that some people at my age thinks that wedding is a 'possible'verb...
They say that you wouldn't know how it feels, until you try it...well, that's what I did...although with every limitation that I have, the furthest thing I could do was imagining myself to fall deeply in love with someone and then getting all excited to walk down the aisle...
For some cases, it works...
But it was not as simple as I thought it would be...imagining to be wed was rather challenging.
In my fantasy, I saw these several dresses from traditional Javanese wedding dress 'dodot' to white gown with little fur on the hair...but somehow, I couldn't see my face on the bride's face... Heck, I even saw that the bride has blonde hair...so I suppose that's not me...
How odd! I imagined someone's else wedding when I was supposed to fantasizing about mine.
Let's try to think about the groom... Some familiar faces appear but everytime I put each face on the-already-imagined-tuxedo, none was matched!
Okey, I am truly aware that wedding isn't JUST about the party... so I started to imagine on the life after the party... I was going home to this house...
In my fantasy, I could see a nice sofa there...but I couldn't find my imaginary 'husband' anywhere...
Perhaps, in my imagination, he was out of town...or even out of the country, helping kids in Uganda...
Okey...it wasn't working...and frankly I am still uneasy with any verb that requires long term and settle.
I am still trying to decide of how I should feel towards my married-mates... Should I be mad that they give up their potential for some fairy tales? Should I be dissapointed because we don't follow the same rules anymore? or Should I be all happy knowing that they finally figure out the-ONE-puzzle?
As a good friend, of course you'd opt for the third option.
Perhaps the question you have now is: do you believe in marriage?
Well, the answer is yes I do. I believe that marriage is the destination for two people who fall in love.
I guess what I am dealing now is... I don't see it yet. I have yet found that one person who will just sweep me off my feet and make me madly in love with him...
Thus, I have yet seen marriage/ wedding/engagement/children as my destination.
But...perhaps someday, I will.
And when that moment comes, I want you to be the witness...
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It's crazy to think how many people I know who are married or engaged. But if I think of everyone I have known during school,college and university then the married and engaged people are in the minority.
I find it hard to imagine in my head my wedding because too many factors are uncertain. First the groom (!) but even small things like the venue and how old I will be. So don't worry I think it is near impossible to imagine your wedding as there are so many details that you don't know yet.
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