when writing is easier...

Emails and Facebook are websites that I avoid right now as both only remind me of how bad I am communicating with people. Yes people, I am aware that an online message comes from me only comes once in a blue moon.

At times, I do not have the time to sit myself down and write an email. While most of the times, I just don't feel like reaching out to people.

A dear friend said to me, "That's why you use Facebook to write short message."

And that is exactly the problem for me. I don't like writing a short and non-personalized message. My close mates and people whom I care about (usually my past romance) are used to receive long and personalized emails.

I'm a big believer of "say what you mean and mean what you say". I try to walk the talk.

Thus, when I write to people, you can almost guarantee that I spend good amount of time to sit myself down, pour my thoughts on you and write, as if I am talking to you.

Words are not just words. They could make or break you... and you need to choose carefully on which words you will use to convey your thoughts.

Writing is one of my favorite things to do, and apparently one of my strengths- that is why I used to be a journalist who dreamed to change the world from my very writings. (Let's not commenting on my dream)

I communicate my heart better in writing, so many times... you read lots and lots of writings on my emotional state.

Some words and emotion are better left unspoken but should be written. Exactly the type of emotion that I feel right now.

There are different flavors of emotions running through my heart and affecting my brain.

Effortlessly longing and thinking while I was supposed to use both heart and mind to focus on other things.

This is not healthy. But then again, since when does anything related to romance is a healthy thing? It only keeps you at different polars... either you are extremely in love and happy or you are painfully out of love and broken heart.

Romance is some kind of cycle. It likes to take you to the highest possible level and then drops you, just like that... and it repeats.

I tell myself to stop, every time. But the cycle is like gravity that you can never really runaway from.

And certainly now, I feel like I am tied and bouncing ups and downs on the trampoline of romance vicious cycle.