Future and Past in the Present Inquiry

Heart of the Matter sung by Indie Arie is playing on the background... Today is Monday. Tomorrow is Tuesday and I will be off to another city, doing God knows what.

The future still becomes the infamous inquiry and decision to be made. I am taking my time; I stall from making any further headache and heart race everytime the thoughts of where I would be, appeared. I am waiting.

Waiting for that sign to shade some lights in this hazy situation... I know what I want, but this crucial time could decide whether I could end up living my dream or even seeking a new dream...

Well, that is future for us... us here meaning any homo sapiens who lives and dreams and in certain age has to decide where shall life be taken to?

Enough about the future... the more I speak about it, the more my hands itch to write more about non-sense....

Now back to reality.... well in this real world, at least my world, has invited the past to peek in my present... Why did I do that?!

It all started when I unpacked every letters, gretting cards and diaries that I've ever had... and there, in the mid of my unfinished diary, laid the list mobile numbers of my mates including my past.

I was fully aware that 'the list' could be the gate to my past... and hoping to befriend my past, who has refused to be amicable towards me these past years, I decided to take a shot.... I sms-ed him...

Somewhere deep inside, I was hoping that his cellphone's number had changed so my message wouldnt get anywhere and dropped in the mid of Indian ocean.

But ofcourse, about 15 mins later, 'DING'.... I received a reply from him.

He sounded eloquent, like always, and rather just-okey-with-his-life... as I am writing this, I am trying to recall how he was when I met him... I guess he hasnt changed much...

It took me hours to finally sent another message... I was uncertain with my own action, I feared that this lets-be-friend kinda action would just be like opening a pandora box. You just never know.

I was hoping that I could have a little trip down the memory lane and perhaps find an inspiration...

Couple back and forth smses later, I started to realize that neither the future nor this subtle invitation to my past can answer my question now: where is my life heading?