Today was not really my fav day... a little heart broken which in some way save me from deeper trouble... I do not know how i feel... all I know is just I am dissapointed because it did not turn out to be like what i wanted... but the next question is, what did i even want?
I know I want him but yet I do not want him...
Have you ever been in the situation like, you know how something going to end up in the end, but you just decided to get into it anyway? Well, that was how I felt about him...
I knew that it was just impossible... no other reason but my pride and my concern about what other people think of him and I.... I am not trying to be superficial by judging people by their looks or anything (because I know I am soo away from perfect), and there is nothing wrong with him, however it is just I can never picture myself with him....
And now, when things did not work out like how I thought it would be, I am disliking it... disliking the fact that I did not have him like I thought I did... I was too confident to think that I got him in palm of my hands...
Well now the reality hit me!
Yes, I am upset about that....
But looking it from the bright side: I do not have to stuck in the same situation like how I did before...
Oh and... this evening, I just listened to the radio, and one of the radio caller told a story about her and her boyfriend who had been apart for couple years (she even got married and divorced!), getting together again...
I guess thats what I call... If it meant to be... love will always come back to you...
You know whats funny about it?! I used to be confident who am I going to end up with... a friend of mine... who was good enough to have me in palm of his hand... I fell for him the first time I saw him... been couple years, but I always know that he will always have a place in my heart.
Now?! what have happened to me in the last couple years, make me doubt about what I believed in... its like I got someone else in the picture... someone who has made me realize that I deserve to be loved... someone who could nake me feel that the world is mine... (I miss him btw)...
So yea when I listened to the lady on the radio, I was like: I do not even know who will I come back to in the future....
I think it is a good thing since it means... I manage myself to take a step away from the past... but on the other hand... I feel like I lost something... something that had kept me through everytime I went through million broken hearts... something that made me believe that I will be with somebody...
Oh yes, I definitely understand how funny Life is... You can never satisfy with what you have...
I just hope that GOD will always take my hand and guide me along my destiny...
And until that special one come along, I will always believe that God knows whats best for me just like what He has proven me...
I know I want him but yet I do not want him...
Have you ever been in the situation like, you know how something going to end up in the end, but you just decided to get into it anyway? Well, that was how I felt about him...
I knew that it was just impossible... no other reason but my pride and my concern about what other people think of him and I.... I am not trying to be superficial by judging people by their looks or anything (because I know I am soo away from perfect), and there is nothing wrong with him, however it is just I can never picture myself with him....
And now, when things did not work out like how I thought it would be, I am disliking it... disliking the fact that I did not have him like I thought I did... I was too confident to think that I got him in palm of my hands...
Well now the reality hit me!
Yes, I am upset about that....
But looking it from the bright side: I do not have to stuck in the same situation like how I did before...
Oh and... this evening, I just listened to the radio, and one of the radio caller told a story about her and her boyfriend who had been apart for couple years (she even got married and divorced!), getting together again...
I guess thats what I call... If it meant to be... love will always come back to you...
You know whats funny about it?! I used to be confident who am I going to end up with... a friend of mine... who was good enough to have me in palm of his hand... I fell for him the first time I saw him... been couple years, but I always know that he will always have a place in my heart.
Now?! what have happened to me in the last couple years, make me doubt about what I believed in... its like I got someone else in the picture... someone who has made me realize that I deserve to be loved... someone who could nake me feel that the world is mine... (I miss him btw)...
So yea when I listened to the lady on the radio, I was like: I do not even know who will I come back to in the future....
I think it is a good thing since it means... I manage myself to take a step away from the past... but on the other hand... I feel like I lost something... something that had kept me through everytime I went through million broken hearts... something that made me believe that I will be with somebody...
Oh yes, I definitely understand how funny Life is... You can never satisfy with what you have...
I just hope that GOD will always take my hand and guide me along my destiny...
And until that special one come along, I will always believe that God knows whats best for me just like what He has proven me...
1 comment:
"...but you just decided to get into it anyway? Well, that was how I felt about him..."
babe dearest, that's also how i felt/ feel about him, but now, i dun really care, i wont think so much into the future, i'll just enjoy the moment =) (well maybe partly influenced by him too)but the fact is--> i am happy now, and i'm enjoying ev'rytime/moment i'm with him, well maybe love does actually grows, and maybe if it meant to be, somehow or in someways in future, we'll be able to think of how to tackle the 'hard issues' together/ compromise each other (tis is if later on, we decide to sacrifice things/ make things happen for us, for our future etc)
but dun get me wrong babe, i'm not advising you to just jump into anyone/relationships just for the sake of it. must consult your heart too. i mean u'll knw whether he's worth it or not rite, before u decide to finally jump into the r/ship.
btw, really love some of yr sweet postings esp the one abt 'tentangku', it just hit me too!! LOL.
so im requesting yr copyright-permission, n thankx 4 the approval =)
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