oh God, not again!

Well, same old story keep repeating itself this week... unpleasant, but apparently that is just something that I am meant to face (one more time)...

I learnt from the past that sometimes something is just not worth be fought over...

and although as mad as I am right now... I really dont think I should give up things and pride for fighting for uncertain thing which I am not even sure if its worth it....

I am hurt...well thats for sure...and lets see... its probably... this is my... umm... uncountless pains....too much I've been through...and one thing I dont learn... or try to forget...

---------I am going to cry sooner or later---------

I really dont know what to do...cuz' I always be the one who creates the chaos, and also I always be the one who's regretting things and crying in the end...

HAHA funny huh?

I cant stop questioning myself...: WHY??????????!!

ahhh I just wish I can answer it myself...

you know, sometimes I just wanna give up and just become like a friend of mine who seems so free with no hasty about those things...

apparently it didnt go too long after I returned here... (where was my solemn promise?)

Im jealous of her... I envy her because she seems never been hurted before...she seems so careless about such things....

Maybe I just need to try... oh wait... I have.... but so far... no good

you know what... im just gunna let things the way it is now... the best thing I can do now is to refuse to see anyone... and be my own world... at least until i am cooler..

But am I ready to give it up? What if I regret it...

well babe, I chose this way... and Im just gunna get through this...

whats the different if sooner or later heartache gunna come anyway....?

But am I really ready?

You know what?! Ready or not, apparently I have no choice other than do what I need to do now...which is:

-being in my own world
- no matter how it consequences... its the best for me...
things happen for reason...

also... I have every right in the world to shade my heart from being hurt!

I do what I have to do...!